Ticking Clocks & Making Dem Babies

I have a few friends trying either for their first child or working on their second.  Why is it when you are in the market for a baby, you want it like yesterday? If you know anything about getting pregnant, you know the odds are so slim. It's no wonder they call it a miracle because you literally have a 20% chance of getting pregnant every month, and that's if you are 'young' and healthy. If you are of advanced maternal age (doctors say 35 and over) or are experiencing medical issues, allegedly, your chances of success are significantly lower. Needless to say, when you are on a quest to get pregnant, your entire existence lives and breathes this one goal.

I know this was certainly the case for me at the time. My thoughts were consumed with it as you may have read in my Road to Positive entries (here, here and here) I specifically remember feeling like a walk-on for the movie Species where I was on an obsessive crusade to get impregnated. Romance and intimacy become perfunctory. Totally not the route to go. For the ladies that are trying to get that baby in the building, I think subtlety, sensuality and private strategic planning are the key to removing the stress out of what should be an enjoyable experience.

When I was going through my infertility moment, I was amazed at all the methods, tools and experiences geared towards helping woman get pregnant. Being the Type A, perfectionist I am, I explored many of them. Hindsight being 20/20, many of these methods, although fun, odd or interesting, did not get the job done.

A few of the fun, odd and interesting things I explored:

  • Reflexology – Your foot is like a map to your body and different pressure points can affect your hormones, egg production and even blood flow to your womb. I went a few times. It was cheap and who doesn’t want a foot massage? Better than asking my husband who would give them too rough and then, I would tell him forget it.  I feel like that might have been his goal but I digress. This place was great and they give you a punch card after so many visits for a discount. If nothing else, you can always get a great massage but I’m not sure how much this helped me achieve my goal.
  • Vaginal Steaming – Yes, I am admitting I did it. After reading this article and doing further research on vaginal steaming and the impact it has on fertility, I travelled to Jackson Heights in Queens to give it a try. I went one time and one time only. Maybe you have to go several times. I can’t say. I kept it moving. This method was not for me.
  • Acupuncture – I absolutely love. I tried a couple of different places but fell in love with Lucy Liu. I saw her when I was going through fertility treatments, trying naturally and even during my pregnancy. I never experienced much nausea and when I did have a little pain, it dissipated drastically after visiting her. For me, acupuncture is immensely relaxing and you have no choice but to close your eyes and zone out during a session. It certainly won’t hurt the process.
  • Chinese Herbs – Another Traditional Chinese Method but I went to Dr. Wu in Little Italy.  He looks in your eyes and takes a picture and can analyze the state of your body based on the condition of your eyes. He then prescribes an herbal concoction you can use to alleviate whatever is ailing you. Typically, you boil the herbs, drain them off and drink the remaining liquid twice a day. This one was interesting. I’m a bit of a control freak so for some reason, doing something regularly made me feel like I had control in the process. The herbs can be expensive on a weekly basis but I did notice that I started feeling a lot better after about two weeks. Hard to say if it was because of the herbs or all the vitamins I was taking.
  • Geritol – Someone told me there is a baby at the end of each bottle.  *face palm* This stuff stinks and when I reached the end of the bottle, SURPRISE. No baby! I decided to pass on finding one at the end of a second bottle.

Straight, No Chaser (These are the things that I believe made a positive impact):

  • Period tracker app - Your best friend when TTC (trying to conceive). Helps you see exactly what is going on in your cycle and alerts you to your fertile window. If you upgrade to the paid version, there is a little mini-course for the completely ignorant all about what you can implement to increase your chances. For the ladies who are not trying to get pregnant, you will know what week to avoid baby-making activities.
  • Babymed – Another app (free) but what’s really nice about this one is that there is an ‘events’ section that can give you everything from your fertile period to when to test for pregnancy.
  • Supplements - I took a combination of a supplements to prepare my body for my next round of IVF. I provided links below. The two most important ones for me were the CoQ10 and Pregnitude. I took these faithfully daily.
  • No More Announcements – I completely stopped announcing to my husband “Yo, I’m ovulating, player! What’s up?” All jokes aside, they don’t really need to know. File it under ‘useless information’ for your man. Just be the casual seductress that you are and he will follow those breadcrumbs to wherever the magic happens.
  • Take It Easy, Have Fun, Do You – After my last fertility treatment where I received a negative and was waiting for the New Year to try again with IVF, I decided to just chill.  I completely didn’t think about getting pregnant. I did a 30 day Bikram yoga challenge, I juiced a lot, made green smoothies and dated my hubby. Sometimes, I had mimosas before going to work (which I don’t really recommend) but my point is, I just lived and enjoyed my life and didn’t focus on what I didn’t have.

What’s your best piece of advice for those trying to conceive?  Please do share. Wishing you lots of beautiful baby dust in your ttc journey! ✨✨✨