Knowing Your Worth - #birthdayedition
It's my birthday!!!!!! I want to give a great big thank you to all those who have wished me a happy birthday so far. This truly makes me feel loved and special. The past few months have been a very challenging time for me but I can see light at the end of the tunnel. I love blogging and sharing some of my inner thoughts and being able to express myself in writing has always been therapeutic and healing for me. I also realize more often than not, that other people share some of my same struggles and on any given day, no matter what I write, it always resonates with someone. It is comforting to know that someone else has been where I have been and 'got through it'.
So on my special day, I want to share an ongoing battle I've had with self-worth and 'settling'. I do believe these two go hand in hand because when you don't think you are worthy of certain things, you have a tendency to settle and then it becomes an ongoing cycle of you never getting what you deserve because you never feel worthy of anything more than what you accept in your life.
I think self-worth for me is strongly tied to a fear I've had of asking, expecting and knowing that I can get whatever it is that I want. That my demands are not unreasonable and I have tended to have a feeling of "who am I" to expect this or that. But I've realized the question should be,"who am I not" to expect this or that?
When you don't have demands and expectations, it's easy to get the very bare minimum in life. It's like having a job just to get by, but not a career that you truly enjoy and getting paid for it. It's like being in a relationship but not being truly loved and respected and not working towards a common goal TOGETHER. You could be on a constant loop and go around in circles with another person on a long path to nowhere because you lack the courage to expect something different. Lack the heart to demand something else. Lack the self-value to believe that you should get whatever it is that you want.
I am thankful that I have been blessed to see another year and if I have to take this day to appreciate the many gifts and blessings I am able to enjoy, my cup would run over with happiness and gratitude. And at this point in my life, one of the most valuable lessons I have learned is
I am valuable and I enjoy setting an expectation for myself and knowing I am worthy enough to see it met. I refuse to accept crumbs or stick around when I am not being appreciated no matter what area of my life is affected. I love myself enough to make a change that is worthy of me. I encourage you to do the same.