Happy Birthday, Sweetie P!

Min Lille Skat,

Min Lille Skat (my little darling).....that is what I called you before I knew you were a boy.  I was not going to keep saying him or her. Even when I was having difficulty conceiving you, I always knew and had faith you were certainly coming and when I least expected it, you revealed yourself on December 31, 2013. That’s the day I found out you were real. I told your Daddy and his reaction was “I wanna hear a heartbeat. What are we doing about school?” Verbatim

I was excited, happy and scared. Is this really happening for me? For us? We were over the moon. I remember very early, experiencing this intense pain and holding my stomach as I crouched on the floor of the kitchen and started yelling at you. “DON’T LEAVE ME! PLEASE DON’T LEAVE ME! YOU BETTER NOT LEAVE ME” I suppose you learned very early on that mommy is dramatic and a bit high strung. Sorry for that, my little love.

Thank God you didn’t leave and I got to see your sweet little face on this day, two years ago. When you were inside of me, I read to you every day. I played music for you. I prayed every single night that you would be smart and healthy and beautiful. As in a beautiful soul. I prayed for so much more for you. God answered the prayers I uttered and the ones I did not. From the moment you were born, you were already trying to see what was going on. You were struggling to focus but looking at me nonetheless. Taking in your surroundings. Observing everything. Even now, when Daddy and I talk, we catch you with your head cocked to the side, trying to make sense of what we are conversing about. You repeat bits of adult conversation now, all the time actually, so we are quickly learning how crucial it is to watch what we say around you. For now, spelling is still safe although we might have to default to pig latin at the rate in which you are increasing your knowledge.

My heart is full with the love I have for you, my sweet baby boy. Like no love I have ever known. Like no love I have ever experienced. I want the whole entire world for you. The moon and the stars and if I could, I would give it all to you but I can’t. I can only try my hardest to prepare you to get them for yourself. I want to protect you always from the crazy world I brought you into. At the end of a hectic day, it brings me joy to see you get so much enjoyment out of seeing a dog or noticing a truck. It's soothing to see the world through your eyes where even a dirty pigeon can get a bit of recognition because to you it's not a 'flying rat', it's simply a fascinating bird that needs to be chased and caught.

I love you to the moon. To infinity and beyond and no matter how big you get. What great challenge you tackle. How many accomplishments you add to your resume. You will forever and always be, my baby boy.

Happy Birthday to my inquisitive, strong-willed, demanding, happy, funny, joyful, curious, sweet, loving, caring, intelligent love child.




 Surf's Up

Surf's Up