Level Up! It's Corny Not To...
A few days ago rapper Slim Thug seemed to feel that he was privy to Ciara’s mentality and approach pertaining to her love life. His assertion was that since Ciara was once with rapper, Future, and had a baby with him, she likes “thugs” and therefore, settled when she married now-husband, Russell Wilson. According to him, Wilson is not a thug, but “lame and corny” and based on her historical choices in men, this isn’t really what she wants. Oh Slim Thug… Of course after receiving some backlash he clarified his comments. The question: Do women who initially were attracted to “bad guys” go on to be with more clean-cut men? For Slim Thug, they only do it for financial stability or because they want a better life for their children, but the latter is not really what they truly desire.
First of all, it’s ludicrous in and of itself, to believe that just because a woman HAD a particular taste in men, her preferences would not change over time. Clearly, as we age and mature, the people we gravitate to are ideally and directly impacted by this shift in our mindset. We’ve all heard the old adage, “water seeps to its level,” and this undoubtedly is applicable when it comes to matters of the heart and most other areas of our life as well. It makes sense that what and who we are attracted to, is largely influenced by where we are mentally in life. It’s logical that experiences can and should be transformative.
Let’s first qualify what the definition of corny is. I’ll use the 'only example' that Slim Thug could think of. Future is a rapper with 4 children by 4 different women. He was engaged to Ciara but his infidelity changed that. Post-relationship, he skipped visitation appointments with his son, and publicly discussed their sex life. Here are a few things he had to say: On their sex life, “God told me something else. He ain’t tell me to wait. I guarantee you that. After we did it, we prayed.” In response to Ciara requesting him to minimize his recreational drug use, “they had me going the cornball route” and finally, when they were going through their custody battle, he tweeted, “the bitch got control issues.” Is this corny behavior? I don’t know, I’m just here doing my writing due diligence. You be the judge.
By contrast, Ciara defined a “cool man.” “A man that’s God-fearing, a man that carries himself as though you are in his presence even if you’re not, a man that is honorable, a man who you can grow with and learn from, a man that treats people with respect. a man who’s confident and wants to see you succeed," This definition of cool is certainly in line with my definition of cool. Religious beliefs aside, the question should still be pondered why any woman wouldn’t prefer a man that is more aligned with this "cool man" than the first characterization.
I would like to that that “cool” is not an image, it’s an attitude. It’s actually a life philosophy. A mindset. When applied to a relationship, it’s about growing with someone. Building with someone. Loving someone and respecting them. Nurturing them and pushing them to be the best version of themself. This is the stuff that solid, monogamous relationships that will endure the long haul, are built on. If you find yourself constantly gravitating towards BS, foolishness, drama, and disrespect, then you can no longer point the finger at the people you have selected because the common denominator is you. "Level-up” your mindset and focus and your choices will certainly follow suit. Your happiness absolutely depends on it. Besides, when you know better, you do better, and anything else is quite simply, just corny.
What say you, fam? Speak on it!
Love x Light
Image by Connor Wells